In my previous passages, I talked a lot about the connection between drawing, psychology, and neuroscience. Today, I want to continue that conversation and dive into another psychological pattern that quietly—but seriously—holds many artists back: people-pleasing.
This is a struggle I dealt with for years. If you’re constantly dissatisfied with your work, switching styles all the time, or always chasing the kind of art you think others will like, this video may help you understand the true root of your frustration.
In this passage, I’ll explain the link between people-pleasing and drawing through three lenses: your psychological mechanisms, your behavioral patterns, and the visual language that shows up in your artwork.
What Exactly Is People-Pleasing?
People-pleasing is basically a mindset where you put your own needs aside to avoid conflict, get approval, and keep the peace in your relationships. It usually comes from growing up with emotionally unstable parents, a strict or repressive home, or parents who only gave love and approval if you met certain conditions.
Typical signs include: Ignoring your true feelings, Struggling to say no, Being extremely sensitive to other people’s reactions, Fear of conflict and overvaluing harmony, Relying on external validation to feel good. One compliment can make your whole day—while a single negative comment can crush you for a week.
If we summarize people-pleasing in one sentence, it’s this:
“I must meet other people’s expectations in order to be accepted.”
In art, that becomes:
“What will others think?” comes before “What do I want to express?” This mindset affects everything: your artistic motivation, aesthetic judgment, style development, and even your long-term confidence as a creator.
So, How does People-Pleasing relate to Your Art
1. Constantly switching styles and losing your authentic voice
People-pleasers tend to deny their own choices. They study a style, mimic it, master it, then abandon it and move on to another one. Their technical skills grow fast, but their personal style never stabilizes.
2. Choosing “safe” topics that will get praise
To earn approval, they prefer drawing subjects that feel universally liked—pretty girls, cute pets, landscapes—while avoiding anything subjective, experimental, strange, or potentially misunderstood. They suppress their true artistic desires in exchange for being liked. This problem is especially common among women, simply because women are often taught—more than men—to be agreeable, well-behaved, and sensitive to others’ expectations.
3. Perfectionism and harsh self-criticism
People-pleasers tend to erase and redraw repeatedly, fear showing their work, and get deeply affected by likes and comments. They may create many pieces yet still feel “not good enough” and wonder if they “lack talent.”
4. People-pleasing visual language
People-pleasing doesn’t just affect your mind—it shows up in your visual decisions: Art made from a people-pleasing mindset often shows up directly in the visuals:
the lines tend to be light, hesitant, or repeatedly traced;
the composition usually places the subject small, pushed into a corner, avoiding the center, with an overall conservative layout.
In terms of color, you’ll often see soft, low-saturation tones and a fear of using heavy colors like black or anything too bright or intense.
All these visual traits are essentially reflections of the creator’s inner hesitation, uncertainty, and withdrawal.”
Why People-Pleasing Can Be Really Damaging to Our Creativity?
First, it drains our creativity and our willingness to take risks. When we’re constantly worried about how others see us or how they’ll judge our work, we stop expressing ourselves honestly. We play it safe. Our thinking becomes narrow, our imagination shrinks, and we slowly lose that sense of boldness and absurdity that makes art truly alive.
Second, it suppresses the development of our own artistic style. A personal style is essentially a unique mix of our experiences, preferences, emotions, and the way we perceive the world. But people-pleasing creators focus so much on external approval that they ignore their internal voice. They keep adjusting themselves to fit other people’s expectations — which makes it impossible to settle into a style that’s genuinely their own.
And third, people-pleasing makes us more prone to burnout. Every piece we create triggers self-doubt. We waste huge amounts of time trying different directions just to avoid making the “wrong” choice. Under the pressure of comparison and the fear of disappointing others, even something we once loved becomes harder to sustain.
So with all that said, how do we change our people-pleasing tendencies? How do we shift from creating to please others to creating as a form of true self-expression?
First, people-pleasing creativity is essentially externally driven — we’re constantly pulled around by other people’s feedback. To break out of that pattern, we have to reclaim our own agency and move from external motivation to internal motivation.
I draw because I enjoy it. I draw to understand myself. I draw to explore new possibilities. I draw because it’s how I express who I am. Our creative purpose should always come from within, not from how others evaluate us.
Second, when you’re making art, try not to obsessively correct every “wrong” line. Maybe one stroke is off, maybe a patch of color didn’t go as planned, maybe the subject doesn’t look perfectly accurate — but none of that really matters in the final piece. Sometimes the imperfect lines, the mistakes, even the “not-so-realistic” parts carry a kind of raw vitality. Many people actually love those imperfect attempts.
What really matters is finding people who vibe with your work, instead of polishing yourself endlessly to make others like you.
Self-doubt and perfectionism are the two major battles people-pleasers must overcome in the creative process.
Finally, step boldly out of your comfort zone. Try subjects you’ve never drawn before, colors you’ve never used, compositions you’ve never attempted. Experiment with new mediums, make messy sketches, create things with no goal at all. These don’t need to become finished artworks, and you don’t have to show them to anyone. Just quietly observe: What did I learn from these experiments? Which attempts give power to my creative voice?
The purpose of creating is self-exploration, self-expression, and self-growth —not to submit our work like an exam waiting for others to grade.
People-pleasing only starts to fade when we understand and accept that it’s normal — and not a big deal — if others don’t like us. That’s when we truly reclaim our own sense of self.”
I Hope you find this video helpful. If you enjoy my content, feel free to like, subscribe, and leave a comment. You’re also welcome to share your own thoughts on art in the comment section.
Miss Daisy Drawing 